When we hear “just get over it” it makes our blood boil.
Don’t they know that nobody in their right mind would ever CHOOSE this mental state? Don’t they realize how truly horrible PTSD is to those who suffer from it, to say nothing of the loved ones who are helpless to watch PTSD ravage the person they once knew?
Some people seem to be devoid of empathy and think that saying “just get over it” is ok; it is not.
Perhaps it is a defense mechanism meant to insulate themselves from even contemplating the thought of living through such a debilitating experience. Either way, it’s a callous reaction to real suffering.
First of all, to whomever is so callous and disconnected to say “just get over it” and truly feel that way; you have clearly failed in the basics of humanity.
The national outreach and stories like this one is not about helping you, the “just get over it” crowd, rather its about correcting the mess you are making.
In the event that people only concerned with themselves, one of you narcissists*, is reading this, when you say “get over it” it insinuates that PTSD is a choice, and not a healthy and natural response to trauma.
Veterans in turn interpret your contrived cynicism and take it to mean that we are unable to control our feelings and that we are weak. This alone stirs up nuclear level rage which further exacerbates the PTSD with a dose of self hate. At a minimum, it is both rude and insulting. For Veterans with PTSD it tells us that our emotions are not worth having and that we as a whole are void of validity.
Its dismissive and our pain is merely just your inconvenience.
*Narcissist is defined as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. “narcissists who think the world revolves around them” *Selfish is defined as: (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.
To our Military / Veteran Brothers and Sisters, this part is for you.
In the wake of the most recent programs to help Veterans and Veteran Suicide, painstaking public awareness strategies have been deployed to reach as many people as possible.
The whole idea is to positively increase awareness of the issue and to help people understand that we are all part of the solution. Well, not quite all of us, it seems.
The worst of the worst have decided to negatively demonstrate that their selfishness has no boundaries and no limits. These people have taken disrespect to a level that is frankly quite shocking.
When you hear or see “just get over it”, it really does feel like you’ve been sucker punched in the throat. You are not alone in how you feel. This is why we decided to address the issue, to acknowledge you and affirm your experience. This is also why All One Team was needed and created.
When you hear “just get over it”, It’s clear that the person you’re talking to, or the author that penned the comment doesn’t or can’t understand the full scale of what you’re coping with.
What makes it worse is that you cracked opened your heart a bit, and now, you wish you never did that in the first place.
We here acknowledge that your struggle is real. We also salute you for trying to open up about it for even just a brief moment. Opening up really is one of the keys to success with processing and healing your PTSD.
As Veterans, we are some of the most NON-selfish (altruistic) people on the planet. One reason that we sacrificed our lives, our bodies, our minds and more is to help those who cannot help themselves.
So yes, its a major blow when we come face to face with the ultimate “opposite”.
Its hard to believe that people can be THAT opposite.
While sometimes the act of shrugging off someone’s PTSD isn’t meant out of cruelty, it’s simply a coping mechanism or a misunderstanding, it still affects us deeply. Yea, thats great you say – we hear you loud and clear.
When you are triggered by this experience, reach out to those that have already made themselves known to you. Those that are there to emphasize their support for you. They get it, they wont minimize your experience. If no such person exists, reach out to a fellow Veteran. They’ll understand and possibly point you in the right direction.
Don’t go into battle with narcissists and selfish people, there is no point. A person this selfish will never evolve to say “what’s the best way I could support you?” It is simply not in their DNA; there is nothing in it for them.
The truth is that we will never “get over it”, however, we can learn to be at peace with it. We can process the emotional red flags that are telling us to address the trauma.
Even though you may be upset, it counts as an “Emotion”; emotions are messages that keep our minds and bodies healthy.
Did you know, that emotions supply our brains with the truthful information we need in order to make sense of our lives. Pretty cool, right? Emotions also keep our bodies healthy because we actually feel them which indicates our state of being. Emotions are a sign post on the road of life. PTSD basically says “Stop”, deal with this for your own health.
And when we can not access our emotions, or when we deny them, our bodies become tense. Tension means stress, and stress leads to all kinds of things, especially for us. In summary, emotions are good and they need to be processed.
However, in our Military experience our emotions became a liability and they got buried.
We are taught that things like fear, anger and pain are unwelcome and are not to be “addressed” any other way other than ignoring them. We needed this at the time. Heck, we even appreciated this at the time. In some regard, these things are what make us successful in combat. But in civilian life, this skill is a liability. It disconnects us from our humanity. And when we return, it means that we have a lot of emotions that have not been “processed”.
As Veterans in civilian life (where emotions and feelings run rampant) we are still sort of stuck trying to make sense out of our own things.
Be productive, be positive, stride towards health and wellness. One day your story will inspire real emotions in someone and when that day comes you will receive real empathy.
We need to feel to be able to grow.
Allow yourself to feel with those that are like you – we are everywhere.
Thank you to our contributing author, D. Niketic.